


size it up

by alykapedia



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Size Kink, give me size queen yuuri or give me death, phichit has so much dirt on yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 06:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10735821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alykapedia/pseuds/alykapedia
Summary: “Okay, Phichit,” Chris says with all the authority of a man already too far in his cups. “Tell us one scandalous thing about Yuuri Katsuki,” he decrees, because of course he does.Phichit takes a deep breath and announces to the room at large, voice booming like the voice of God announcing banishment from the garden of Eden: “Yuuri Katsuki is a total size queen.”(Or: That time Yuuri wished he'd pole danced with Chris instead.)





	size it up

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr drabble!!

The 2016 GPF Banquet after-party finds most of the men’s singles skaters and Viktor, camped in Chris’ room, drunk on champagne and giggling like a bunch of unruly teenagers. (The exception is, of course, the actual teenagers who are huddled in a corner and judging everyone past the age of nineteen.)

“Okay, Phichit,” Chris says with all the authority of a man already too far in his cups. “Tell us one scandalous thing about Yuuri Katsuki,” he decrees, because of course he does, because he’s Chris and Yuuri refused to pole dance with him again, so he’ll have to settle for this. 

Phichit laughs, expertly avoiding the foot a red-faced Yuuri aims at him. “Just one?” He asks with a bright grin that has Yuuri lobbing a pillow at him from the Japanese’s perch on Viktor’s lap. 

“I know where you live, Chulanont,” Yuuri hisses, which would have worked had he still been sharing a cramped dorm room with Phichit and can prank the other within an inch of his life.

As it is, Phichit merely takes the threat in stride, takes a deep breath and announces to the room at large, voice booming like the voice of God announcing banishment from the garden of Eden: “Yuuri Katsuki is a total size queen.”

The silence that follows Phichit’s declaration is deafening.

“Oh my god,” Yuri intones from his corner, breaking the silence and restarting the mayhem with a horrified look at Phichit. 

Chris howls with laughter, pumping his fist in the air. “I knew it! Come on, Phichit, there has to be a story behind that.” The Swiss turns to look at Yuuri who had curled up on Viktor’s lap like a pill bug after Phichit’s declaration and was now giving Phichit a vicious glare.

“Phichit.”

“Yuuri,” Phichit just grins, “If I tell this story, I promise never to tell anyone about that other thing I promised to take to my grave. I won’t even include it in my Best Man speech even though I really, really want to.” 

Yuuri rolls his eyes and then proceeds to curl up against Viktor again, who gamely wraps his arms around Yuuri even with the gobsmacked expression on his face. 

Permission received, Phichit takes a deep breath and starts. 

“Okay. So. Once upon a time,” the Thai begins, “I managed to convince Yuuri to attend a frat party with me and y’know, we drank, we danced, and the next thing I knew, this really cute frat boy was talking him up and pulling him upstairs. And I was like, damn, get it Yuuri!”

Yuuri groans, burying his face further into Viktor’s shoulder.

“And then, exactly six minutes later, Yuuri rushes downstairs, red-faced and looking like he was about to cry. I was so ready to cut a bitch but then Yuuri just shakes his head and tells me that he wants to go home, and like the very understanding roommate that I am, I go with him. And like the very caring roommate that I also am, I ask what happened, y’know just in case I really do need to cut a bitch, and Yuuri, Yuuri goes–” 

Here, Phichit trails off, scrunching his face into an exaggerated pout. “Yuuri says: _Phichit_ ,” he says, and it takes a while for everyone else in the room to realize that he’s imitating Yuuri. “ _Phichit, his dick was smaller than my pinky._ ”

Chris guffaws. 

“And that, kids, is how Yuuri Katsuki walked out on someone because their dick was too small.” 

“Well,” Chris says after he’s laughed himself silly and called Yuuri a savage. “Viktor’s not in any trouble of being walked out on.” He winks, making Viktor, who had been uncharacteristically silent throughout the whole thing, choke on his own spit. 

.

Later, in the early hours of dawn, Yuuri turns to Viktor and asks, “does it bother you?” Because Viktor had looked surprised when more of his frankly terrible and ill-advised hookups were brought to light. And maybe Viktor had wanted to be the first, to be the only one–

“No. Not really.” Viktor replies with a soft smile, cupping a cheek gently and leaning in to kiss Yuuri on the forehead. “I mean,” he says, pulling away with a rueful look. “I am a bit jealous. But I have you now. You could have had anyone and you chose me.” 

Yuuri shakes his head, opens his mouth to say _no, no, Yuuri’s the lucky one here_ , but Viktor shushes him with soft lips. “You chose me and I have never been more thankful about anything, Yuuri,” Viktor insists, voice trembling with emotion. “Does it bother you?” 

“No,” Yuuri whispers, even though he honestly thought it would, but seeing his ring glinting brightly on Viktor’s finger loosens something tight in his chest. “Because they may have had you, but I’m the only one who gets to keep you.”

**Author's Note:**

> rip to that unnamed frat boy yuuri walked out on HAHAHAHHAHA


End file.
